So you’re a really nice guy who happens to be straight, white, and cisgender?

DON’T: Feel ashamed of being who you are

DO: Try to counteract the injustice that you benefit from

So you disagree with something a woman says about feminism?

DON’T: Suppress your opinions

DO: Listen carefully to her before you speak

So someone is criticizing straight, white, cis men as a group?

DON’T: Feel personally attacked

DO: Try to understand what they’re criticizing and resolve not be part of it

So you worry that you might be subconsciously prejudiced?

DON’T: Distrust your judgment: ”Can I really dislike this person? Is that racist, or sexist?”

DO: Scrutinize your judgment: ”I dislike this person, and that’s fine. But would I perhaps have disliked her a little less if she were a white man like me? Let’s make an effort to have the answer always be no.”

So you’re at the club? (Sorry, I started writing this thing before 2020)

DON’T: Be afraid to flirt with women

DO: Flirt respectfully, with an awareness of most women’s experience of harassment

So you made a comment that you now realize was hurtful to a minority?

DON’T: Invite self-loathing

DO: Apologize, and take pride in being a guy who learns from his mistakes 🙂

So you’re feeling down?

DON’T: Think your life can’t be HARD, just because you’re white, male, straight and cis!

DO: Simply keep in mind that being something else is probably HARDER.